A little different than I expected

Ok so a little update...
I knew when I came here it would be tough, and there would be moments when I would fall flat on my face... but I didn't expect it all at once and so close to the beginning. The last 3 weeks of my life have been one big giant trial. I am going to try and explain it so you can know where I'm at, but without too much detail cause I don't want to fixate on the bad because it only brings me down...
I started a new job which is super difficult, demanding, and hard on me. I'm working at a coffee shop but the environment there is... just bad. I've had a lot of anxiety and stress over this job (including 2 cold sores which I only get when I'm really stressed). Also, been learning french (in order to serve french customers) I actually don't know how to explain what it is like to learn a new language and feel so inadequate because I physically can't speak to people. Additionally, I started a paper route for my roommates parents (they went on holidays for 2 weeks). I wake up between 2-3 am in the morning to deliver 350 papers; which is by far one of the most difficult jobs I've ever done. It is so hard to function with no sleep and run around for hours in the middle of the night, while the world is sleeping, and actually care about delivering these papers. Everything that could go wrong has. The first day I had to work a double shifts delivering papers, and then 10 hours at the coffee shop. It has rained on us, one day we forgot the map at home, which cost us an hour extra driving back home to get it, I've tripped on people steps (causing loads of bruises), been clotheslined by fences (ok that was funny), almost broke my arm trying to get out of the car (don't ask)... and lost hours of precious sleep which cause all sorts of crazy moods... it has honestly brought out the worst in me. However, on a funny note, and it really is funny now. The first morning I woke at 1:30 am and about half way through the route I threw a paper through someones front door window (Yes this actually happens and not just in the movies) and I also had to pay for it so essentially I worked for FREE! (who says nothing in life is free? Those people got their paper delivered right into their home, as well as, a new front window!) I have learned to laugh about things because if you don't you would never make it through one of these days.
One more thing that has not been going so great (super unfortuately) is my relationship with God. I feel like God is distant and hard to find in Quebec. Even when I take time to spend with Him it is like I can't find Him, and the air between heaven and earth is just so much thicker. Plus I know that there is some sort of attack on me and my roommates cause all we want to do is make God happy but none of us seem to be doing well spiritually. We all realized this about 3 days ago, and have been deliberate to pray together and read our bibles, but it is still tough.

In every way possible I feel like I am loosing the Kayla I know and love. I've lost my language, sleep, personality, culture, environment, friends, and most of all the God I know and love. This is a major loss in my life, which I believe I need to grieve and morn, yet, I need to recognize that in the process there is a strange beauty to this situation. It hurts so much to loose something you love but I also KNOW that God has a lot to say about "she who looses her life will find it". I find my flesh crying out for familiar and longing to walk towards what I know and understand, but at the same time I know God is removing things from my life only so He can put something more like him and more beautiful in its place. So for now I just have to wait in that and hope this happens soon.

So guys I'm sorry that this may seem discouraging, and focused on me and the negative but I would be lying to myself and you guys to not share what I'm going through. I am desperate for your prayers, and support. And I hope to share something a little more cheerful with you guys soon! (I only have 2 days left of the paper route!!!)